By an Anonymous Admirer of Dragon-Type Pokémon

The scary season is once again upon us—from its carved ornamental gourds to acts of grand theft candy by roaming gangs of elaborately disguised children. But before you set out that ceramic Gengar candy bowl or place your Phantump figure in its place of honor on the mantel, maybe it’s time to rethink our Halloween heroes.

For years, we’ve elevated Ghost-type Pokémon to the role of Halloween royalty. Before we fall into a haunted cemetery-sized rut, it may be time to crown new Halloween terrors. And who better to reign over this season of terror than Pokémon directly inspired by the dragons that have haunted real-life humanity for thousands of years?

Now that we’ve agreed it’s time for a more measured and mature approach to identifying the heroes of this year’s Pokéween—and if you didn’t agree, feel free to vent your opinions to your friendly neighborhood apparition—let’s consider the possibilities. The colorful and robust Pokémon canon offers an embarrassment of choice. If psychological mayhem is your jam, there is certainly an argument to be made for unleashing Mr. Mime on the collective consciousness and just accepting that there will be no more Pokémon Sleep for anyone ever again.

Which brings us to the obvious solution: Dragon-type Pokémon. The timing is perfect. It’s the Year of the Dragon, and dragons are hotter than Charizard’s Flamethrower. (But contrary to its appearance, Charizard is not, in fact, a Dragon-type Pokémon, although Mega Charizard X can proudly make the claim.) As we’ve already established, dragons have a fearsome reputation that spans millennia, so we know they’re scary. And to prove that point, we came with receipts (or scary Pokédex entries, which is pretty much the same thing):

“Tales are told of ships that wander into seas where Dragalge live, never to return.”

—Dragalge, Pokémon Y

“It generates ultrasonic waves by violently flapping its wings. After making its prey faint, it melts the prey with acid.”

—Vibrava, Pokémon FireRed and Pokémon LeafGreen

“It has trouble drawing a line between friends and food. It will calmly try to melt even those it gets along well with.”

—Sliggoo, Pokémon Sun

“If a child it has made friends with is bullied, Drampa will find the bully’s house and burn it to the ground.”

—Drampa, Pokémon Ultra Sun

“It becomes uncontrollable if it is enraged. It destroys everything with shredding claws and fire.”

—Salamence, Pokémon FireRed and Pokémon LeafGreen

“The heads on their arms do not have brains. They use all three heads to consume and destroy everything.”

—Hydreigon, Pokémon White

“Aggressive and cruel, this Pokémon will ruthlessly torment enemies that are helpless in the dark.”

—Noivern, Pokémon Sword

Sure, a Gengar materializing from the floor for a jump scare is a classic. But compared to Dragalge sinking entire ships, leaving only silence and mystery in their wake, or Sliggoo instinctively liquifying even its friends, these pranks seem like child’s play.